Last year, I would have never believed that I would be celebrating my first Mother’s Day as a new mom. Now six weeks postpartum, I feel like my motherhood is in the probationary period. I still feel like Mother’s Day is reserved for my mother and grandmother—not a millennial mom like me.

I earned it though—the battle scars, sore nipples, changing endless diapers and the sleepless nights. Motherhood is not meant for the weak and we deserve a day dedicated to our bravery. Being a new mom might be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

To be honest, I didn’t realize how much I had to learn. You think breastfeeding is simple? It isn’t. It took me and my little guy almost a month of perseverance to get the hang of it.

But now, as I type this, I have an infant sucking on my breast while drinking a cup of coffee with my other hand. Our skills have improved and multitasking has become the name of the game.

When I was pregnant, I was worried I wouldn’t like him or what if he didn’t like me? Now that my doubts are all behind me, I can finally say that we are madly in love and I never thought I would enjoy being a mother so much.

I am now an active and loyal member of the not so exclusive club–Motherhood.

It’s ironic that I’m the first of my friends to have a baby because I was never the “type” to settle down. My life was pretty appealing before having baby. I liked to travel, go to events for my blog and date whomever I wanted. Now I am utterly domesticated to say the least, but it’s the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done.

I think women feel they need a prerequisite to have a baby–a good job, a house and a husband. I’m not saying those aren’t great things to have, but for many women the fear of having a baby on their own is that we don’t have all the qualifications. I’m here to tell you that having the courage to be a mother is enough.

Each day I wake up, Paxton is more developed. He’s literally growing and changing before my eyes and I just want to stop time so he will stay new forever. The thing about motherhood is, you start to put your child’s needs above your own.

We celebrate Mother’s Day because motherhood is the pinnacle of sacrifice. I feel like I have aged ten years in the last month and become, I guess, Paxton’s mom. I can’t say that I’m not bothered by the unpleasant side effects of motherhood but he’s worth it.

Me Became We

I used to be carefree and independent. Now I get anxiety when I’m away from my baby for more than a few hours. Maybe I was naive to think that my life was about me because now it is all about us. I can’t imagine my life without him anymore.

What I thought was a “mistake” became a miracle and the biggest blessing. I feel more love and purpose now than I have in my entire existence. I created a human being that needs and counts on me to take care of their every need. That’s why we are here isn’t it?

The biggest lesson in my life has evolved to bring me the most joy I could ever experience. He makes me want to be a better person. The job of mother is a thankless and tiring one, but it is also the most rewarding.

I hate to sound cliche and somedays I just need five minutes to myself, but every time I look into his eyes, I’m so happy that I did what I did. Some people didn’t understand why I would choose to do this alone.

Now here we are and I’ve never been so happy in my life.

The Next Generation

I know having a baby can’t take away the hurt I felt when I lost my father six years ago, but every time I look at his face, I see a resemblance of my dad. My son is the legacy that my father left behind and the next generation in our family. I am proud that his spirit will live on through my son.

For the first time in six years, I have laughed and loved again with my whole heart because this tiny person has brought so much joy back into my world. I will celebrate Mother’s Day this year for the first time, but I am also celebrating being able to live and love again with my whole heart.